The familiar concoction of nerves and excitement greeted me as I arrived at LAM, I couldn’t wait to look around the stalls properly for once and see what toys there are. Heels and cute underwear made sure to remove the anxiety, walking in alone didn’t matter as long as I looked cute with my head held tall.
Goddess’s table was not hard to find and I was relieved when familiar faces greeted me, I don’t drink around most people and yet it occurred to me that every time I had been in the company of these people I hadn’t hesitated to drink. Aware of the time running out I toured the stalls, having fun with the medical supplies, all the gorgeous whips that should be hanging around my neck and admired the amazing toys – many of which I still have no clue how to use. Having only attempted public kink for a few months I am still constantly surprised at how friendly everyone is and the lack of judgement as I asked 101 questions indulging my curiosity and desperate to understand everything to with this curious world. The deeper I fall down the hole the more questions I seem to have, the more there is to learn and know and experience. Once satisfied with my few purchases I rejoined Goddess and laughed the afternoon away, relaxing, feeling up whips and joking with people I’d like to call friends despite not knowing them long.
I don’t really know what I expected, I just hoped to be able to relax and perhaps learn a little more but it didn’t take long for the first mark to be made on my leg. A couple of pretty line with my new toy thanks to Foxy. I love pain but it still feels so wrong, so unnatural to want it and so difficult to ask for it. Perhaps one day I’ll learn to be brave, learn to embrace and communicate better but until then I’m grateful for being surrounded by people who give me enough chances to say yes.
Perhaps it was the little red dress, the pornstars or having a partner in crime but dancing and messing about, winding Foxy and myself up became effortless and far more entertaining than embarrassing. In my mild pornstar daze and high on the atmosphere I followed an eager Foxy to the play area. I was being introduced to the “most sadistic bastards” there and despite admiring the colourful marks adorning Foxy’s hind, I couldn’t help but feel the familiar worry that I wouldn’t be enough. What if I couldn’t behave for two strangers caning me? What if my wiggling annoyed them? What if I can’t take the pain? What if I cried in public.
I watched the glistening excitement on Foxy’s face as I tried to muster the words to ask to be played with. Feeling myself tingle with excitement and the squeeze on my shoulder, reassurance that someone I trust will be there I found myself looking at an array of instruments. Scary looking objects of every size and material, I was being asked what I liked? Looking at the daunting weapons I wasn’t even convinced I liked pain, what if I picked the wrong tool. Luckily my deer in headlights impression went unnoticed and Sir collected a notable selection and I was led to the bench by an increasingly stimulated Foxy whose enthusiastic demeanour made bending over the easiest of tasks, i wasn’t vulnerable or in danger, I was waiting to be played with by people I could trust and who enjoyed it.
The hands started to land, one warm slap at a time resulting in an excited giggle and harder slaps and my head restrained by my hair. The silver on Foxy’s collar, that would be my focus point when it got tough, a pretty shiny item I could focus, or at least that was my intent. The giggling wouldn’t curtail even when the stings started. My arms started to drop and grip the metal, holding it right at though I could pass the frustration through the cold steel. The stings started to grow consequently as did my frustration, I could feel my breathing deepen not with fear or panic but an uncontrollable desire. The heat was growing and unrelenting as my hands found their way into Her skin, running desperately seeking a release of any kind. Boots on my back keeping me restrained, no where to go and no reason to tense. I was never going to be able to overpower two men. For a moment the pain faded into the background as I watched the beautiful red head laugh at my pain and tell me how wet it was making her. Lost in the confusion of knowing what should fee wrong and yet made me want to lick and suck more than any gentle touch ever would. I was grateful for the kisses followed by the intensified sting hat came after I registered the teeth sinking into my boobs and the familiar sticky feeling between my legs.
Then they came, the big toys, one blow at a time. The involuntary tense of all muscles everytime the explosion hit, each shattering blow distanced just enough for breath to be caught and yet not long enough for any worry to return. Lost in an endless cycle of pain and a frustrating kiss frenzy, struggling in the moments to fully register where the pain was coming from, hearing nothing but a misleading soft voice with a threatening undertone remind me where my place was and where my legs should be. I couldn’t see anyone but the entertained smile in front of me and hear the growl as I felt my bottom tear in two and found my thighs wrapping round the metal that held me up.
Then it over. The heat remained unrelenting but steady as I curled up against warmth and appreciating a familiar comfort wrap around me, frustrated, relaxed and safe. Watching them smile as I hoped I would have pretty marks and that they didn’t think me weak for flinching from the impacts.
Irrespective of the recurring throb I managed to spend the remainder of the night smiling and using my favourite muscle (my tongue) talking to friendly faces who took great satisfaction from squeezing my rock hard bottom and watching my squeals follow.
It was hard to do anything other than smile and laugh as everyone seemed to enjoy the evening and indulged my endless questions.
Not going home alone was awesome, being sore alone is never fun. I saw my first private play space and couldn’t help but try and work out what everything was for, so many ropes and hooks and loops and toys. Draws of toys. The tipsier I became the less I could hold back the questions, there’s so much I don’t know, so many books to read and so many things that can be played with. I half expected to be told to be quiet but Goddess kindly satiated the curiosity letting me look at books, explaining electrics and demonstrating Her superior flick stick that has left the prettiest cross on my inner thigh. My naivety at how a hollow stick could mark was happily entertained and despite bending from the deluding tools thud, the patterned marks were prettily displayed on my swollen outer thighs as I carefully sat and tried to work out how to ask to remove my dress for hate of wearing clothes when not necessary.
Sleep came easy and deep with the hype dissipating as soon as the blanket welcomed me and I relaxed knowing I’d managed to find some awesome people.