I don’t normally celebrate my birthday, it’s just a day that happens like every other day of the year, nothing special, nothing worth celebrating. Goddess disagreed and so we compromised and I celebrated my birthday.
Waking up after a relaxing lie in to messages from so many awesome kinky people helped but better yet I wasn’t alone and I was allowed to cook breakfast. I’m not sure it qualifies as a kink but I love cooking and even more so when I can cook with very little on without feeling embarrassed. Trying not to be too excited at the prospect of cooking breakfast I made coffees and started whipping up the protein pancake batter making sure it was perfectly smooth so the pancakes would be insta worthy. Just as I had served up Goddess’s, dripping the honey on like I was practicing an art form, Mistress Anastaxia arrived in a happy and energetic whirl. It didn’t take long to persuade Her to join in the pancake fest and so my morning was spent enjoying pancakes and great company and entertaining conversation. It always feels similar to day dream, how did I end up surrounded by such cool and genuinely lovely people?
I’m not usually one to sit still and I can find it terribly frustrating at times. Time is the most precious thing we have so the thought of wasting a moment makes me want to jump up and start squatting. The unusual part is I had no problem relaxing all afternoon, enjoying the company of three awesome people (FoXy had joined shortly after brunch). All the tension around celebrating my birthday had long dissipated and I was starting to enjoy the relaxation of, of being calm.
Then came food and gin, I was so excited and nervous for the beating Goddess said I was getting. I hope one day I’ll stop doubting whether I’m a masochist. It still seems so weird that I actually enjoy the pain, that I want it, that I love being really hurt by beautiful Women. The food was so good but I couldn’t help but sit there and wonder if I would let myself down. What if I was a wuss or I couldn’t keep still or worse, what if I started crying. I know I mentioned I wanted to cry, to be able to properly cry at appropriate things like sadness and pain without being manipulated but when it comes to it, it’s scary. Being so vulnerable for someone, letting go of everything and taking whatever pain She wants to give. It’s hard and it’s scary but I do think I want to one day.
I tried to casually wash up and act calm as the excitement started to grow, as I saw Goddess pull a bench out in the corner of my eye. A simple, black, comfortably looking bench. My shorts were removed but one piece remained as I placed myself on the bench. I tried to relax and lie there but the tension was growing. She talked about lots of 6, LOTS of 6. How many did she plan on doing. I’ve never counted a total before but I don’t think it’s ever been more than 50 so maybe I could be good for 10 lots. I sat there thinking that as though I was going to decide when we stopped. With no restraints I searched the floor for a focus point, I needed to find something to help me process the sensations and watching Goddess line Herself up I needed to find it quick. The corner of the play-space had a screw hole, perfectly circular and in easy sight. I tried to watch it and breath and focus on everything, on the room, the nerves, the sting as six strikes hit my hind, on Her smile as giggled, on everything in the moment. I wanted to look, not at my bottom but at Her. I needed to know She was having fun, am I fun to cane, did my giggling annoy Her? She kept smiling and laughing with me, pushing my head down each time I tried to look. Keeping me still with a look and a cane. By still I mean on the bench without restraints. She kept talking, something about relax but the stings kept coming, one side then a photo and then the next. Six after six after six. As the fast hits started I lost control, the focus and breathing had disappeared, I felt the panic start, I needed to stay still. I tried to joke about being a bunny and as the words left the stings on my lower thighs grew. There wasn’t an excuse. I needed to stay still. How can one relax when being hit. I couldn’t bring myself to see the photos, I could barely bring myself to speak. I watched Her glistening smile in between sixes, the soft Australian voice asking if I was ok, nails running down my bottom. The swelling becoming apparent as I felt Her nails run over bumps. I responded in the only way I could manage… with giggles and moans and bottom wiggles.
The sixes became twelves and I had long lost count. The sting had faded into a warm as Her nails gently ran down my back, my muscles releasing the stiff contraction. I felt my body slowly give in, I didn’t need to move and on command the tension released. Like falling asleep but being wide awake, the gap between reality and day dream as you slip into the seductive heat, as the giggles dissipate and are replaced by gentle moans between twelves. I felt my skin push into Her nails as they ran down the fresh marks, the familiar stickyness between my legs becoming more apparent and the burn developing. Some canes were harder that others, some where harder to take. Every so on She hit somewhere sensitive and I could hear the smile beam from Her face and I winced and bounced. Only to return to still, just relaxing and enjoying as each burn lands. Trying to work out how She managed to hit the same spot over and over. At some point after 100 I stopped worrying about how many. Counting sixes on each side became my focus, not doubting towards anything but a reminder to keep breathing and to just relax and let Goddess play with Her canes.
Blood was the only word I heard, it shook me from the feather in a breeze daze i had absorbed into, if only for a moment. Nearly at blood. The thought was worrying. Am I weird for wanting it to continue, for enjoying watching Her smile as my bottom stung. Blood from caning was meant to hurt and this didn’t hurt. Even the “ouches” I managed we’re revoked by immediate giggles. In theory I know the science but lying there, vulnerable, letting this strong woman mark me. Why doesn’t it hurt? Split between the notions of what should be pain and the caressing motion of the cane I did as She instructed and returned to still. Several canes later the enraptured sensation overcame me once again and with the flood of endorphins came the ecstasy, with closed eyes all that remained was my skin embracing the hit and colours dancing behind eyelids to the ever distant Australian sound.
Curled up on the sofa with warm boob resting on my face I started to rejoin Goddess. It was warm and safe and if the burning hadn’t coursing between my legs distracting the peace, I would have wanted to lay there all night. I could feel my erection rub against the thin lace that lie between my thighs, lubricating itself in endless frustrating cycle and yet the thought of asking was so mortifying I continued to squirm and hoped it would pass. I tried distracting myself looking up at the soft dark hair framing Her concentrating face, feeling the comforting weight resting on me. The desire was neglecting my wish for it to go quietly and instead I found myself wanting to hear Her uncontrollably moan. I finally managed to ask, well I at least managed to ask to touch myself and a little while later I found myself blushing on a mattress with a vibrating toy in hand. I’ve been naked on plenty of occasions but it doesn’t quite compare to lying there with toy in hand whilst the other person is fully dressed and sitting on a laptop as though I’m merely reading a book. I wasn’t even naked. Pulling the duvet over my face like a child playing peekaboo I pressed the button twice and ran the loud head across the lace and loudly announced my first orgasm within a few seconds of actually applying the toy.
The overwhelming sensation absorbed me and yet the burn merely grew deeper and the room didn’t matter anymore. Squirming as though I had electric between my thighs I wanted another. Her dark hair was just about visible but I don’t think She was watching, I lost control of the escaping moans as I grew to a climax, unable to remain still but forcing my hand to remain in place in a complete battle of will. The more I figgetted the further into edging I fell and the desperation cultivated once again. If I could have managed words I would have begged to be held still still, had some of the control removed from my body and the torturous vibrations to find purpose. Almost as soon as I was willing to give in, to lose to pain I reached an apex demonstrated by the lack of vocal and body control I retained in the moment.
Tingling and sweaty I needed a drink and some fresh air so the idea of going to get more gin was welcomed but I wish I’d remembered to change underwear rather than walk in the cool breeze with the stickiness held in place by a thin one piece.
Once back I was told to play again, to four. I lay down and tried to ignore the embarrassment as I undid the bottom of my outfit, as I lay there completely vulnerable and on show waiting to moan and attract attention whilst intimately touching myself. It was taking a while, perhaps the embarrassment was too much but Goddess either became impatient or entertained by my struggle. Either way She was standing over me as I held Her toy to my clit. First my nipples were pinched forcing the desperation to grow and my body to remain still and take the vibrations. Her foot rested on my right cheek holding my head firmly down and minimising the struggle. I grew louder and louder and the intensity grew, I found myself circling the head around my painfully erect clit until I screamed in pleasure. Unlike before I didn’t rest, merely lowered the intensity and toyed running it between holes taunting them both waiting for the blood to return. Time had disappeared along with the room and the sounds until I couldn’t even hear my moans anymore. She was stood there, walking round the room and yet there. I could feel the pinching sensation reach my breasts but like in a skydive, I knew She was there and what She was doing was important but I was lost in the endless fall, getting deeper and deeper, feeling my election explode again and again, the control no longer in my hand. It stayed there like a ghost holding it still forcing the pleasure through my body again and again, uncontrollably and unrelenting. Finally I could hear the soft yet firm accent break through chaos, She was laughing I think and I could just about make out the smile as my body contracted into a ball.
I’m not sure it gets better than pain, orgasms and ice cream. I sat next to Her grinning as quickly devoured the banana split watching the TV and waiting to get rid of the bowl so I could curl up again. I needed to feel the warm and safe. Resting on Her shoulder quickly led to lying down. My nose got bopped and I was apparently a good arm rest but it matter. I could feel Her touching me and I could let me mind return to silent. Every time I tried to see if She was smiling I was greeted by a little slap and my face passed back towards the TV. I wanted to see if She was happy, being slapped was just an entertaining bonus. She said I was fun to play with as my nose was smushed. I didn’t care for the show but I didn’t want it to end, I was comfortable and it felt good.
All good things must come to an end and despite a dull toothache I managed to sleep into the morning, enjoying a gentle breeze drifting over my swollen bottom.